falling....

just the other day, i remembered 4 of the 7 times i fell while in the rehab hospital. in order no less. then about 2 mins ago, i remembered that i remembered and decided i was sittin here at the comp anyway, i might as well post about it.

by the way, waiting for the use of my left hand to return, before i make any 'serious effort posts', has proven non too effective.

1st fall - i was sitting in my WC, next to my bed waiting fer a nurse to come and help transfer me to the bed. i had just come back from lunch or such. now the staff at this hosp[ital were notorious slow in answering patient calls. so i go impatient and decided i didnt need any help. so i stood up(neat trick for me at that point in my rehab), and decided to just fall onto the bed, figuring once the nurse got there they could turn me comfortable. well i bounced up and off the bed landing on the floor, on my arse, with my head hitting some cold and hard, knocking me out. my good foot must of hit something harder cuz it was swollen and hurt fer days. i was ok, but it sure ascared me from tryinh that 'trick' again.

2nd fall - again waiting on help. to go pee this time. and i wasnt impatient i was angry being a grown man and having to wait for some 'child' to help me stand over the toilet. my therapists had introduced me to a walker earlier that say, so being a grown man, i decided to practice with it. i think i got 4 steps lost my balance and started to fall. my roommate was right there, grabbed my arm and twisted me around. now he wasnt strong enuff to keep me from falling, but he pushed me towards his wheelchair, which was right there, i landed in it with nary a scratch, and promptly peed.


more later
peace

breaking news!

i can move my big toe.

not very far and not with any degree of speed, but shore nuff, i command it to move and it moves. then i request for it to go back and it goes back.

its almost a true wiggle.

i actually noticed this 'progress' two days ago and now i knkow ur asking, why didnt he post about it two days ago.

well i've been working on perfectingmy new toe movement. we called lil successess like that 'tricks' in the rehab hospital.

i had to make sure it wasnt a fluke and i wanted to test and retest until i was sure i wasnt seeing things.

thing is, i dont really feel it moving. it might well have been moving for the past few months and i just never saw it.

i've also been working on getting all my toes to move and turning my foot askew, coz then i can wear shoes again.

needeless to say, im rather excited bout my toe moving on command.


...hmm wonder if i should bore my fans with a video....

peace

gonna try a pushup soon

just about 20 minutes ago, and for no partucular reason i decided to see if i could manage a light switch. i succeeded and then spent the next 15 minutes or so, rather giddy, much too giddy for a man alone in his home, to be legal, anyhoo, i hobbled around my house gleefully turning on and off every light switch in the house.

did i mention 'using my 'bad' arm? the paralyzed arm. the left arm and hand.

perhaps i had something in my right hand and didnt feel like putting it down.

the next part of this post should be me explaining how i got by before and the significance of this feat, but im really not all that much into typing at the moment.

let me just say it involves me not wantng to sell my bowflex. stubborn? maybe?

peace

i got to thinking

what if im in a coma. and if that is the case, when and how did it happen. i mean ive been close to death a few times in my life. what if it was a much closer close call than i thought. what if that truck actually rear ended me with much more damage to the car and to me.

no one i talk to in this 'coma world' would know, they are actually 'out' sitting by my bed, reading novels to me and getting all the kids to sing songs.

now i doubt this is the case, but 'if' it is, how the fuck do i wake up and if i do, will i be compelled to blog about the experience?

peace

few things i miss

running - i dont have the fight or flight option currently. had a bull chase me not too long after discharge. lil dog saved me. i think i peed, dont rightly recall

sex - these are in no particular order

eating ice cream

long hot showers - standing that is.

live poker tournreys - i signed up for a charity event coming up in october.

work related responsibilty - not really.

dressing up - i suppose my pops or my friend could and would help me, but there hasnt really been an occassion.

peace

that third thought

im not entirely sure if this was actually what i was thinking at the time of the last entry, but no nevermind cuz i think this alot anyway. here it is..

i am convinced that padma laksmi smells divine. she certainly is a beautiful woman and ive no doubt that men other than myself have different thoughts when they see her. but all ican think about is how lovely it would be to get close enuff to her to smell her...

i could be very wrong. she might stink to high heaven, tho that is not very likely.

anyhoo that was it i think. every tme i see her, i think man i bet she smells good.

i dont think i ever saw top chef before the stroke, so it could very well be part of the brain damage.

peace